# Ask for support for yourself too

Published by Pawel Jozefiak. [About this project](https://adhd100.jock.pl/about/), [How we check sources](https://adhd100.jock.pl/methodology/)

- Canonical: https://adhd100.jock.pl/support-the-parent-too/
- Language: en
- First published: 2026-09-29
- Evidence checked: 2026-09-29, using AI-assisted source verification
- Clinical review: Not clinically reviewed
- Number 46 of 100 in the list: https://adhd100.jock.pl/#support-the-parent-too

You count too. Your needs sit alongside your child's.

**The number:** Encourage carers to seek an assessment of their own needs ([NICE, public HSC Northern Ireland copy, 2018](https://cypsp.hscni.net/wp-content/uploads/ebpp/reports/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-diagnosis-and-management-pdf-1837699732933.pdf))

## The evidence

- How sure: Certainty of evidence: Guideline advice, not formally graded. Measured in people with ADHD.
- Evidence grade: A. Grade A: moderate or high certainty evidence in people with ADHD, or an explicit ADHD guideline recommendation.
- Basis: Explicit NICE recommendation for ADHD family and carer support; not an estimate of a stress-treatment effect.
- Benefit: 55/100. The benefit score is an editorial prioritization for the general list, weighted by certainty. It is not a prediction of what will happen for you.

## Why it matters

NICE says family members and carers of people with ADHD should be encouraged to get their own personal, social and mental health needs assessed, and to join support groups if appropriate. It is also clear that being offered parent training does not mean you are parenting badly. Asking for specific help can open a route to support. There is no single guaranteed effect on parental stress, though.

## How to do it

1. Name the part of parenting that is hardest to carry by yourself.
2. Ask an adult you trust for help that is specific and realistic.
3. If stress or low mood is getting in the way of daily life, tell your own health professional.

## Talk to a clinician first

Seek urgent support if you feel unable to keep yourself or your child safe.

## Putting it into practice

### Start now

- 1 minute: Write down one name and the help you would ask that person for.
- 5 minutes: Draft a specific request for emotional or practical support.
- 15 minutes: Ask your health service or an established parent group what support exists for carers.

### What it looks like

- 'Could you listen while I explain what has been difficult this week?'
- Tell your own clinician about persistent distress instead of discussing only your child's symptoms.

### Common mistakes

- A vague request may be hard to answer. Say what kind of help would matter.
- Feeling guilty about needing support can delay it, so treat your wellbeing as a legitimate need.

### Trusted how-to guides

- [ADHD & Self Esteem (undated)](https://connect.humber.nhs.uk/service/childrens-adhd-intervention-team/adhd-self-esteem/), Humber Teaching NHS Foundation Trust
- [Get help with stress](https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/feelings-and-symptoms/stress/), NHS

## Sources

- [ADHD: diagnosis and management, NG87, information and support](https://cypsp.hscni.net/wp-content/uploads/ebpp/reports/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-diagnosis-and-management-pdf-1837699732933.pdf), NICE, public HSC Northern Ireland copy, 2018 (Tier 1 guideline)
- [ADHD & Self Esteem (undated)](https://connect.humber.nhs.uk/service/childrens-adhd-intervention-team/adhd-self-esteem/), Humber Teaching NHS Foundation Trust, 2026 (Tier 1 guideline)
- [Get help with stress](https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/feelings-and-symptoms/stress/), NHS, 2026 (Tier 1 guideline)

---

General information about ADHD, not a diagnosis or an individual treatment plan. Tailoring changes the order of suggestions; it does not assess you. Medication decisions belong with you and a qualified clinician.

Report an error: meet@jock.pl

Reuse: CC BY 4.0, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/