# Choose how to explain your ADHD

Published by Pawel Jozefiak. [About this project](https://adhd100.jock.pl/about/), [How we check sources](https://adhd100.jock.pl/methodology/)

- Canonical: https://adhd100.jock.pl/choose-how-to-share-adhd/
- Language: en
- First published: 2026-09-29
- Evidence checked: 2026-09-29, using AI-assisted source verification
- Clinical review: Not clinically reviewed
- Number 57 of 100 in the list: https://adhd100.jock.pl/#choose-how-to-share-adhd

Tell a trusted person the part of your experience that helps them understand what you need.

**The number:** Relationship issues belong in the post-diagnosis discussion ([NICE, public HSC Northern Ireland copy, 2018](https://cypsp.hscni.net/wp-content/uploads/ebpp/reports/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-diagnosis-and-management-pdf-1837699732933.pdf))

## The evidence

- How sure: Certainty of evidence: Not rated. Measured in people with ADHD.
- Evidence grade: C. Grade C: small or mixed studies, expert consensus or clinical practice. Worth knowing, not worth betting on.
- Basis: NICE names relationships as a post-diagnosis discussion topic, not a recommendation to disclose; NHS booklet and communication guidance. Benefit of disclosure is not quantified.
- Benefit: 45/100. The benefit score is an editorial prioritization for the general list, weighted by certainty. It is not a prediction of what will happen for you.

## Why it matters

Attention and impulse-control difficulties from ADHD can spill into conversations and relationships. NICE lists social relationship issues among the topics a clinician can discuss after diagnosis, and an NHS adult ADHD booklet suggests that helping important people understand your ADHD can reduce misunderstanding. Whether to tell anyone is your choice. Neither source promises that people will respond well or that sharing guarantees things improve.

## How to do it

1. Pick someone you trust, and a calm moment.
2. Explain one difficulty and what it does, from your own life rather than a list of traits.
3. Ask for one helpful response. Say what you want kept private.

## Talk to a clinician first

You do not need to disclose to someone who may use the information to intimidate or harm you.

## Putting it into practice

### Start now

- 1 minute: Fill in the blanks out loud: 'One thing I find difficult is \_\_\_. A helpful response would be \_\_\_.'
- 5 minutes: Choose one trusted person and draft a short explanation of what you want them to understand.
- 15 minutes: Use the NHS conversation guide to prepare what to share, what to ask for and what should stay private.

### What it looks like

- 'I sometimes lose the thread while listening. It helps if we pause and check what I heard.'
- 'I would like you to understand this, but I am not ready to tell the wider family.'

### Common mistakes

- Sharing everything at once can overwhelm you both. Start with one example that matters.
- Disclosure is not an obligation, so consider trust and privacy before sharing.

### Trusted how-to guides

- [How to talk about your mental health (undated)](https://www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/mental-wellbeing-tips/how-to-talk-about-your-mental-health/), NHS Every Mind Matters
- [Making Sense: A Guide to Living with Adult ADHD](https://leicspart.nhs.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/Making-Sense-of-Adult-ADHD-booklet.pdf), Nottinghamshire Healthcare NHS Trust

## Sources

- [ADHD: diagnosis and management, NG87, information and support](https://cypsp.hscni.net/wp-content/uploads/ebpp/reports/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-diagnosis-and-management-pdf-1837699732933.pdf), NICE, public HSC Northern Ireland copy, 2018 (Tier 1 guideline)
- [Making Sense: A Guide to Living with Adult ADHD](https://leicspart.nhs.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/Making-Sense-of-Adult-ADHD-booklet.pdf), Nottinghamshire Healthcare NHS Trust, 2013 (Tier 1 guideline)
- [How to talk about your mental health (undated)](https://www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/mental-wellbeing-tips/how-to-talk-about-your-mental-health/), NHS Every Mind Matters, 2026 (Tier 1 guideline)

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General information about ADHD, not a diagnosis or an individual treatment plan. Tailoring changes the order of suggestions; it does not assess you. Medication decisions belong with you and a qualified clinician.

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Reuse: CC BY 4.0, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/